my wish

wish i was at home with mama to celebrate Mother's day with her.. :(

Happy Mother's Day Mama. Thanks for raising me and all the sacrifices you've made for me..I Love you so much!

my years : looking back

Tomorrow I turn 30. The big three 0. People make it a big deal because you will enter the 3-series (like the BMW series) and make jokes about getting one once you're 30. Perhaps one day inshaAllah :)

So this may bore you but here are the highlights of my birthdays for the past 2 decades...

2010 age 29 : First time celebrated with my husband since we were a couple. We were in a long distance relationship for 3 and a half years and long distance marriage for 7 months. So this time is was special. However, he was still recovering from his broken leg injury. We did a small gathering of friends.. but he couldn't walk.. But it was still special.. :)

2009 age 28 : My last birthday as a single person. My family did a surprise birthday party for me. Everyone came except for my sister and her family. The wedding was a belated birthday present too :p

2008 age 27 : Me and my family celebrated at a Thai restaurant. I got cupcakes, and pen parker engraved with my name from my family :) My husband (boyfriend at that time) and myself bought a DSLR camera as a birthday present. It was awesome!

2007 age 26 : Went for dinner with my parents. A very laid back birthday. My husband (boyfriend at that time), shipped to me Motorola V3 and I love it! :)

2006 age 25 : During this time, I guess I was busy with my masters. My family belanja makan besar for a 7 course Chinese dinner at KGNS. My husband (boyfriend at that time) gave me an MP3 player. Supercool! I loved it! I also went to GREASE LIGHTNING the musical with my sister in law for my birthday treat.. I also bought a pair of pink heels for myself :)

2005 age 24 : Oh this was the worst birthday ever kot. I kinda erased all memories during this year until somewhere in August 2005. But I do remember my colleagues surprising me with a Chocolate Banana Secret Recipe birthday cake. Other than family and work, I was going through rough times during this year.

2004 age 23 : First birthday after getting a job. I didn't wait till 12am to celebrate, dah tertido dah pun cause I was too tired (this was the only year I didn't wait till midnight). But I could remember my cousin SMSing me at 7am in the morning (we share the same birthday) while I was in a bus going to work. My colleagues surprised me for a birthday lunch treat and gave me a nice present. Baik sangat diorang. All of them were chinese and they were really good friends.

2003 age 22 : I was still in college. I couldn't quite remember jugak what happened. But I remember nice wishes from family and close friends :)

2002 age 21 : Pun sudah lupa

2001 age 20 : I did a birthday party and celebrated with family and friends.

2000 age 19 : Seriously forgot. Like zero memory. Oh but I remember my mom gave me a really nice pair of subang :) still have it till today

1999 age 18 : The year of the teens. I celebrated my birthday with a bunch of hippies at KLCC. It was post SPM period and suddenly everyone was socializing after two years of being in Maktab Rendah Sains MARA Taiping. Haha! Anyway, it was a nice birthday. My parents gave me a rantai and pendent. I did a late birthday party somewhere in mid June. And get this, my husband was also there!! But we were just as friends at that time (IRC friends). How freaky is that! Who would've thought that we'd be married :p It was probably one of those birthdays that I will remember kot.. :)

1998 age 17 : I remember I was sick during my birthday. However, our homeroom celebrated with a cake.

1997 age 16 : First birthday berjauhan from family. Called home at 7am in the morning before going for morning assembly. Sweet 16. Got letters and birthday cards from Sri Amanians. It was really cool :)

1996 age 15 : Can't remember sangat lah.. But I celebrated with family

1995 age 14 : My deskmate, Lilia Ramona, the most popular girl in school (haha) gave me an Adidas T-Shirt. It was the most expensive birthday present from a friend (at that time). Dia anak orang kaya.

1994 age 13 : Went to the states and got a whole bunch of birthday presents from my sister and brothers. It was awesome!!

1993 age 12 : It's my party and I cry if I want to. I cried on my birthday party. Ada sorang buat hal on my birthday party and sedih sgt.

1992 age 11 : Got a musical box as a birthday present. Still keep it till today

1991 age 10 : Some really cool presents from my parents. A big book of world and a teddy bear :)


This is as far as I could go for my birthday. Yang lain tu tak igt sgt. But every year was celebrated with love together with my family... Gonna miss them on my birthday.. and wish that they were here to celebrate with me and my husband.... :)

strike 2

rejected. again.

keep on moving.. just keep on moving..

right on the spot!

I couldnt agree more.. this word has always been with me since I learned its meaning..

Your Happy Word is "Hope"

You refuse to give up on anyone, including yourself. You see the best in others. You think happiness should be shared. You spread your message of optimism as much as possible. You will keep believing when everyone else has stopped. You think good will always prevail in the end. You believe if we trusted each other more, the world would be a better place. All we need is a little hope.

What's Your Happy Word?

Blogthings: Free Quizzes for Everyone

what's your story

everyone has their own story. This whole week has been an eye opener to me. and also an ear opener. sometimes when you hear people talk it just goes in and goes out. like that pepatah melayu, 'masuk telinga kiri, keluar telinga kanan'. When I think about the proverb, it actually means that the person doesn't process whatever that goes into the ears, tiba² je dah keluar. it would be a shame if the content is important or can actually give a deep impact on someone.

I am currently in the midst of reading 'The Tipping Point' by Malcolm Gladwell (I am a slow reader). During the first few chapters, Gladwell mentioned about a group of teenagers wearing Hush Puppies and how it became popular again till today. I find that the book is very technical with a lot of figures and statistics, which is fascinating for me. And it got me thinking about how roller skates / blades became popular in Malaysia and how I might have something to do with it. Somewhere in 1991, my family was kemasing out our store room and suddenly I saw a pair of roller skates (real ol skool ones) which belonged to my sister wayy back in the 80s. It was still in a good condition so I decided to play with it in the evenings. My neighbours saw me playing with it and then requested their parents for a pair.. Masa tu tak glamour so roller skates mahal sangat. And you can only find them at Toys R Us, Subang Parade. So we always played with them in the evenings. A few months later, I saw around the neighbourhood, ramai pulak orang main roller skates. Like suddenly! And then in Toys R Us, the place where usually ada jual roller skates yang berapa ketul, suddenly production dia banyak gile and it became the 'in' thing. And I can't help but wonder, was it because of me ? (perasan ye?) hahaha..I guess we will never know. But I would like to think that I had something to do with it :D hahaha.

Anyway, it got me thinking about how humans are easily influenced by many things. A simple word, gesture or action could 'tip' someone into doing or feeling something. Maybe for some it is a small matter but it could bring a big impact on someone's life.

There are alot of things that happened around me that influenced my decision. I for one, feel very foreign by changes (yup I think I mentioned this like a thousand times). Perhaps because of the fact that I have stayed at the same home for almost 28 years of my life. Changing to a new one is simply very alien to me. Me and my husband hung out with one of our friends and he told us about how his girlfriend is asking him when are they gonna get married and how that had pressured him. He asked me how it's like, taking this big move, big step. And after listening to myself talk, I then realize why I am scared of changes.

Today I spoke to a dear friend. It was very refreshing and awakening I might say. I really needed to feel that. Listening to someone who is actually going through it and telling me the naked truth and what to anticipate has changed my perspective on how to look at things. When you want to do something for yourself, whatever obstacle that may come, you will find ways to overcome it. Because you know what you want. The obstacles that comes along is just a way of Allah telling you that before He wants to give you something, He will test you. and when you are ready, He will give it to you.

so, what's your story?

seek and you shall find

Have you ever walked into your kitchen only to realize that you forgot what you wanted to do/take? It just happened to me just now. Sometimes it happens to my husband too. I just watch him as he walks out of the room and came back 5 seconds later and asked me sambil garu kepala, 'I nak ambik apa dah tadi?'

Such a weird phenomenon kan? how do you explain it? I'm sure there's some medical explaination. nak google tapi taktau nak type apa kat search.

Speaking of search, I am in the midst of searching for a job or a placement in any university nearby to further my studies. motivation dah kurang compared to last time (refer previous post). I guess the 72 Hour rule is now valid. If you want something, you must take action within 72 hours or you won't feel as strong about it as you did the first time. 

In addition to this event, I decided to check  facebook less frequent. Why?

I did an observation (yes, I have that much time). I can conclude that 8 out of 10 status updates has some negative ring to it. Statistically speaking, 80% of the time, people become either demotivated, depressed or deprived. However, this is only the descriptively speaking. I need to do a Factor Analysis to conclude further. But reading all those negative status really brings me down at times. Tak pasal² kan?

Well.. wish me luck in finding my path :) I told a friend once, it ain't easy living in a foreign country that doesn't speak English. I am now in the process of finding bricks to build my own road. For me to succeed, I need to build my own road and then only I can walk through it. It's not like UK, US or other English speaking countries. But hey it's okay. At least one day I will feel satisfied walking through the roads that I have build with my own two hands. And of course with the help of Allah, support and prayers of my husband, family and true friends, InshaAllah I will get through this :)

I remember my motto when I dilanda kebuntuan during my postgraduate studies. 'Seek and you shall find'. I kept on mumbling this phrase everyday out loud for weeks while thinking and tapping my pencil on the table and I finally crack the code for my statistical program. I will never forget that moment. I literally cried. That's why I believe in how powerful believing in things can be. And right now, I really need to believe in things.

its always easier

Easier said than done

We hear that alot. So much so that it becomes a fact. At times, I will think, Yes. Actually it is easier doing it rather than saying it. Kalau mulut tak banyak cakap sambil buat kerja, lama² kerja pun habis. Kalau cakap je lebih, tak buat kerja, memang takkan habis.

Other times I will think, betul la. Memang senang lagi cakap dari buat. Like the malay proverb, 'Berat mata yang memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul'. Or these days, 'Berat mata yang membaca FB status, berat lagi jari yang menaip status'

But in reality, some days you feel like a bird (singing I'm like a bird - Nelly Furtado as background) flying high in the sky following where the wind blows. Other days you are pinned to the ground. The question is.. What keeps you motivated? What makes you feel like Kate Middleton walking with 80 papparazis everywhere you go? (translation : having the confidence level like the next Duchess of London) What keeps your adrenaline pumping?

What drives you?

To answer this question, I actually took a test.. and this was my results. Check it out

You Are Driven By Self-Improvement

You believe that if you're too satisfied in your life, you're doing something wrong. You are always trying to better yourself, and that means putting in a lot of hard work. You want to be the best you can be, and you hardly ever rest. You are a type A person for sure. You are always trying to make your strengths more robust and your weaknesses disappear.

What Drives You?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

        

Really ? Seriously?

sembang

sempat juga sembang dengan salah sorang ex-student yg agak rapat di suatu ketika dahulu, bagaikan seorang member sebab age gap antara kami tak berapa jauh. last i contacted her, she told me she got a job as an airhostess with an airline company. gembira la sbb anak didik dah masuk ke alam pekerjaan. gaji pun not bad la, 3 kali ganda lebih dari gaji cikgu.

harini chat la dgn dia selepas almost setahun tak sembang. maka dia pun citer la dia dah berenti jadi airhostess. mmg rasa nak nangis bila dgr dia citer betapa teruknya kerja dia sbg airhostess nih (bukan malaysian airlines tau dieya, tapi airline lain hehehe). tapi bagus la sbb skrg dia pun dah kawin and nak cari kerja baru.

maka it got me thinking, adakah wajar tindakan dia utk berenti kerja sbb dia tak tahan? saya rasa, wajar. sometimes when you are so fed up with your work life, sampai menjejaskan emosi, health dan juga life, just find a new one. i dont think that you are a quitter but there is no point of working at a place that doesnt make you happy. rezeki ada di mana jua.. asalkan rezeki yg kita cari itu halal, itu yg penting.. inshaAllah, kalau usaha, akan ada rezeki :)

the first quarter

hey guys, now ada mood nak berblog. do you realize that the first quarter has passed. time flies so fast kan? feels like just yesterday that i blogged about my new year's celebration. now its time to review how far i have gone in my 2011 resolution. let's check it out. Refer here for comparison

So my targets were, by the first quarter of 2011, i will be

Fluent in Deutsch
Finished reading 3 books/Novels

I think only managed to succeed in 50% of it. I didn't read any books / novels due to my exams. So hopefully, by April I can finish all 3 books that I have right now.

1. Have a little faith by Mitch Albom
2. The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
3. to be determined.

I would sum up my first quarter as, full of ups and downs. I lost my dear cousin and still think of him sometimes.

Now that my German classes are over, while waiting for the results, I'm gonna start learning playing guitar again. This was not in my resolution but I have always wanted to do that. Yesterday managed to learn how to play Time of your life by Green Day.

And most importantly, there are other personal things as well that I wish to do and resolve which I would rather keep it to myself.

so how was your first quarter? :)

1hour

today is earth hour and tomorrow is daylight saving. that means the clock will switch when it strikes 1am, dia reverse balik to 12am. 12am, dia kedepan to 1 am. (correction, i still confuse myself with daylight saving) and then we would have 6 hours difference with KL instead of 7 hours like today. it also marks that Spring is officially officially here.

when i think of earth hour, i would remember last year, when my husband broke his leg. and now it has been a year.

I posted on my fb status that i pray for happiness for all mankind since there has been so many negative vibes around. So I decided, I am gonna be on hiatus for awhile. I need to concentrate on things that really matters. and internet or to be specific, facebook has been taking too much of my time..

I am not sure of what our plans are for tonite because germany takde earth hour. but we have been quite environmental. i think that the earth deserves more and just 1 hour per year.. we can all take part in saving the environment in so many ways :)

enjoy your earth hour!

till then!

Ada apa dengan Thailand

We are now at the last chapter and also the last week of our lesson. Topic last ni adalah 'Reisen und Möbilität'. Travelling and mobility. So semua orang citer la mana dia suka pergi travel. And ramai cakap, Thailand (tensyennye, dekat je dengan Mesia. Nape tak nak cakap Mesia?). Yes, Thailand has beautiful beaches and also they like the fact that alcohol are sold almost everywhere. I too would like to go to Thailand again, Krabi actually. Ataupun Ko Samui. Heavenly beaches.

Perasaan gembira berbaur sedih menyelubungi dalam hati ini. Perhaps in the beginning, I wasn't fond of this group. Rasa macam takde ngam sebab ramai daripada Timur Eropah and they like to hangout together and cakap Russisch. Tapi towards the end, ada kalanya kita hangout and gurau senda sesama classmate. Walaupun diorang muda muda belaka, aged around 19-20, tapi disebabkan badan² diorang besar ataupun me being relatively small compared to them, rasa macam lebih kurang sama umur. Lama² dah jadi kebiasaan pergi kedai Turkey dan melayan Shisha bagi group ni. Sometimes I join. Seronok la jugak practise Deutsch di luar kelas tanpa stress. But now class dah tak berapa stress, its either we are improving ataupun cikgu mcm rasa kita nampak confident bercakap (kot) walaupun kadang² berterabur jugak sana sini.

Tapi bila berada dengan group² muda ni, terasa diri ni macam muda balik. Tambah² lagi sama² belajar dengan diorang, instead of teaching them. Dulu my students umur lagi tua daripada diorang nih. Nampak badan besar tapi suka main cuit² lepas tu menyorok. Ataupun berdiri belah kanan, tapi cuit belah kiri. Macam my anak² sedara selalu buat la.. Ataupun macam masa kita sekolah² dulu kan. Tiap² hari la kena. Tapi anggap macam adik² la. Adik matsalleh. Hahaha.

It's an experience I guess. An experience that I will cherish kot. And hopefully dapat hang out sekali sekala for coffee ataupun shisha. Gonna miss this buncha people!

hiding tears

What do you say to someone who just lost someone in their lives? It's been 34 days since the death of my dear cousin, Alif Abu Bakar. I just called my auntie (his mom) today. Why? Why did it took me so long to give them a call? The figured the parents needed some time and also I gave myself the few days to compose myself. Although I am far away from them, I could still feel the loss of a dear cousin. I didn't plan on what to say, what kind of mode should I set or what should I not say. I thought about it but when I dialled the housenumber, everything just sort of blanked out.

I spoke to his mom. She sounded very calm and her voice was somewhat low. I wasn't sure weather it was the connection or was it because she was sad. She sounded happy when she knew that it was me who called from Germany. I gave her my warmest condolences and suddenly my voice just cracked when I heard her telling me how much he missed him. I knew that she was crying at her end. I was crying too but I tried so hard not to sound like I was crying. It's hard for me to control my emotions sometimes.. especially crying.

I told her that we are lucky that we are Muslims and that Islam is a very beautiful religion. By reciting Al - Quran versus helps to calm us down and we believe that Allah does everything for a reason. And Allah loves him more.. I told her that I always recite Al - Fatihah whenever I think of him and everytime after prayers.


Its really hard to give your condolences to someone who just lost someone dearly. Its even harder when you know the person personally and grew up with him..

Al - Fatihah to Alif Abu Bakar. Rest in peace couz...

i hate this part

I would usually put on my earphones and listen radio through my Nokia XpressMusik Phone(yes, I don't fancy Iphones and such. I am an olskool-er). I tune in to BIG.FM, a fresh and young radio station aus Baden Württemberg (the Bundes where I am currently living right now). Suddenly this song was on. And it transported my back to my homeland where I used to listen to this song while driving to work. Amazing that this song managed to bring back memories of going to work while I was going to school. Ironic.

tribute

He was supposed to have his engagement ceremony today..
Rest in peace dear cousin...We all miss you dearly....

Al - Fatihah to  

Alif Abu Bakar Abdul Wahab

6 Sept 1982 - 13 Jan 2011

thoughts

To those January born babies have most probably celebrated their 30th birthday by now or will be celebrating it soon. 30. The big 3-0. InshaAllah kalau umur panjang, I will be celebrating my 30th birthday this May. I don't want anything. Just prayers and well wishes is more than enough for me. I would usually fear or panic or dread the thought of me reaching an older age. Looking at those socialnetwork sites would sometimes make me think about my own life.. While other people flash their family, their newborns, documenting their newborns' milestone, their wealth, their success, their 5 figure bonuses, their stateof the art gadgets.. I flash nothing interesting of myself whatsoever. Not comparing with the others but viewing it will sometimes make you think (I know you agree with me on this). But alhamdulillah I have my health, my husband, my family, good friends and Allah has been generous and making my life easier here as I would imagined. Allah has granted me strength and health which money can never buy and something that I am thankful for every single day. I don't have those other things to post but it's okay.

Winter is slowly ending. It stopped snowing when 2011 began. I would like to share with you a song. This song will always remind me of Winter 2010.. when the days were shorter and colder.. when the ray of sunlight brought smiles to everyone.. when the coffee tasted warmer.. when the hot shower felt nicer.. when the weather brought everybody and everything closer.. when everything was dark and bright at the same time.. my first Winter was a memorable experience.. I hope and pray that 2011 will be a good year for all of us.



This is Xavier Naidoo. He is a Mannheimer and used to work at my houseowner's restaurant as a tukang cuci pinggan last time. Now a multimillionaire singer. Life is funny when you think about it. How your life can change within a moment, a day, a week, a month, or a year.. you get the idea..

I was messaging with my very good old friend, also my schoolmate. He is now a father of 3 and lives in Ohio. Once in a while we would keep in contact. He asked if I had a recipe for Kuah Dal or Nasi Briyani. I told him that I don't know but my husband can cook Nasi Briyani very well and I will ask him. Then I said, its funny that I am berbalasing msgs about recipes with him. It was also a very rare occasion that his profile picture is himself with his three kids. If you had known him back then in school, you would never imagined that. He replied that sometimes he feels that moments like these seems surreal. If only he had said during school, 'Hey, in 13 years time, when I have 3 kids, I will message you in FB asking for nasi briyani resipi' and I would reply, 'Gee, I dunno la. That's my husband's specialty who is --- from class ---. I have to ask him laa'

We never thought that life would turn out to be like this. But I'm glad it did. It's the surprises in life that makes it more interesting. Every single thing that we own is from Allah, He can give and take anytime He wants to. Even our lives. Embrace life people..

Al- Fatihah for Alif Abu Bakar. Thoughts and prayers are always with you couz..

Al Fatihah

Do not be sad of his passing, but be happy that he had a good and meaningful life... 

Before I start writing this blog, I request for you readers to recite Al - Fatihah for my cousin, Alif Abu Bakar bin Abdul Wahab who has left us on 13th January 2011 at the age of 28.
I have been wanting to dedicate this entry for a long time. But I needed time to compose myself and I wanted to be ready to write this.

My dear cousin, he was only a year younger than me. As children, we would meet during hari raya, weddings and kenduris, sometimes funerals and sometimes during the weekly visit to Arwah Opah's house in Subang Jaya. As we grew older, our relatives became more mobile and sometimes would just meet up. Before I flew off, I had organized a Bowling Tournament for all our relatives. Little that I know that it was his first and last bowling tournament with our cousins.. The last that I met him was 2 weeks after the tournament, they had a kenduri for his mother who was going for Umrah. And I still remember what I said to him, 'Girlfriend kamu tak datang ke?' and he laughed and said, 'Girlfriend yang mana satu?' That was Alif. Always joking and laughing.

For my wedding, he offered to be my photographer and 'sedara punya pasal' he gave me a very good price for it. And because he was my cousin, he knew the right people to snap. He did his job very well and many complimented of my pictures. He bought a special lense just before my wedding to take pictures. 'sedara punya pasal' he said and I quote.

I remember clearly when I was 4 and he was 3. We took a picture at Opah's house and he suap me a piece of cake and I hugged him. I still have that picture at home. A lot of memories we had with my dear cousin. It's really hard to believe that he is no longer with us. He would update his facebook status with comments about politics, traffic jam in KL and football. Sedih pulak rasa that I couldn't buy for him a jersey from Germany as he had requested.

His passing was a big shock for all of us. How did I find out? My husband suddenly came to the kitchen in the morning and said that he was gone. We knew that he was in the ICU for a week but I was confident that he would recover. I felt my whole body numb when I heard the news. I can't believe that my cousin was gone. He was so young. He was so full of life. He was supposed to be engaged this 30th January 2011. Jodoh, ajal dan rezeki di tangan Allah.. Ajal telah menjemput arwah sebelum dia bersatu dengan jodohnya.. Till now, I still feel his presence. It won't be the same without him around.. He was always the one to make the gatherings more ceria with his jokes and laughters.. He was loved by everyone.. but Allah loves him more..


'Dear Alip bata (I always call him that), you are loved by everyone.. you will be missed dearly.. but you will not be forgotten.. your passing has made us all closer.. I still can't believe that you are no longer with us.. But we will always pray for you.. I pray that you will be with the placed with the ones who are pious.. together with all our other relatives... We love you and we miss you very much.. But you are in a better place now... Al Fatihah...'

 During Cucu Opah'S bowling Tournament.. January 2010

 Alif with my sister and my other cousin, Kak Mimi

Alif who didn't get a strike for a I don't know how many times..

Rest In Peace my dear cousin... rest in peace...

12 months

One word to describe 2010 is change.

January : The month of finishing up work (resigned end of January)
February : The month dedicated to being with beloved family and close friends (flew off to DE by end of Feb)
March : The month that I dealt with change (weather, environment, surrounding, currencies, etc.)
April : The month that I dealt with challenges but got closer to my husband (Husband broke his leg end of March)
May : The month of recovery
June : The month of change again (going back to school, in laws came to visit)
July : The month of heat (world cup and weather)
August : The month of Ramadhan
September : The month of celebration (raya and going back home to KL)
October : The month of togetherness (spent time with family but still miss them)
November : The month of changing leaves
December : The month of coldness

Someone told me that 2010 is gonna be a year of big responsibilities.. I thought I was gonna have a baby this year.. Maybe next year inshaAllah...

12 months has passed by so fast.. Looking forward for 2011.. Happy New Year everyone..

Before 2010 ends

I have almost 2 weeks of holidays and my husband has 3 weeks. It's nice to have him around the house sepanjang masa. He will do his stuff and I will do mine and sometimes we will do stuff together. Right now he is busy finishing his PS3 game, Fallout Vegas. And I am in between watching movies and learning Deutsch. Yesterday I wrote my resolution and my target for the first quarter of 2011. I taped it next to the mirror with the hope that I will not ignore it :p
(Click to view larger). Yeah, looks pretty sensible. and No, i decided not to gain weight since I have recently purchased a pair of jeggings and loving it! Jegging like leggings only made of jeans. How cool is that! It fits nicely and looks great when your wearing boots because the jeggings will go straight inside your boots.

Why did I finally decide take multivitamins ? Why only start now?

• I realized that I am gonna be 30 by next year 
• Since my husband is on a healthy diet regime, he unintentionally made me wanna have a healthy diet as well.
• My hair is changing color 
• I have Vitamin B12 deficiency
• The multivitamins in Germany are sold in solluble tablettes. Instead of swallowing pills, I can drink them, in Orange flavour some more! (in case you didn't know, I have problem swallowing pills)

I can sum up my targets and resolutions into three main areas; Deutsch learning (OMG- this is typical German grammar.. Deutsch lernen) correction, learning Deutsch, consuming healthy food and reading.

Why my target is for the first quarter? Well, I don't wanna wait until the end of the year to see where I am at. 3 months is just nice to review my progress and still have time to improvise till the first half of the year. By March, I will complete my Deutsch Course and hopefully, inshaAllah dah lulus for my visa.. Please pray hard for me.. My visa has to be renewed by then and kalau semua okay maka it smoothens the process of my Permanent Residency and it makes it easier to find a job or further my studies :) That's why I am really struggling with my Deutsch.

For all you readers who have been good to me, here is a picture of myself. I have mentioned this before and will mention this again, this is an unprivatised private blog. I feel very happy blogging here knowing that the people I share it with have good hearts and are not judgmental. 2010 has been a challenging year for me (If I have the time, I will blog about the highlights of the year). It's a year with full of significant changes. Honestly, I can't wait for 2011 cause it's gonna be a great year inshaAllah :)

This pic was taken by my husband. We were on our way back from grocery shopping. We got used to carrying heavy things on our bagpacks and walking back home with it since we don't have a car to carry our groceries. This was after a 2 days of heavy snow. Snow was up to my boots! White Christmas indeed.

This is me at Mannheim's Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas Market). On the left, I was eating Crepe with Nutella. Sedap! And on the right, I was having Alcoholfrei Glühwein. It's a traditional German drink. But they drink it with alcohol of course. The content that I had was Zitrone.Normally they will drink it during the cold winter. I brought bag the mug which costed 2€ as a souvenir.You can see very clearly that I am very lefthanded. Haha..

One question, what is the last thing you wanna do before 2010 ends?

Full Moon

Behind the moving clouds, I can see full moon. It's 14 Muharram. So pretty it is, subhanallah. Allah's creation.

I was about 10 years old, every Saturday night we would go to Arwah Opah's house in Subang Jaya for dinner. My sister and I would beg our parents to drop us off in Subang Parade instead or going to Opah's. We knew the answer would be no but never gave up asking. On the way backhome, I would look out the window from our car and stare at the full moon with full of awe. That was the point when I ambitioned to become a scientist. Puberty then hit me. All the teenage rebel and anger made me learn more about the environment and saving the earth. I changed my ambition to becoming an environmentalist. I did my part, I was very close friends with the President of the Kelab Pecinta Alam. On Friday nights, we would have this star-gazing activity in school. We had really cool equipments and got to play with the Telescope. I saw the surface of the moon, planet Jupiter, Saturn and it's ring and 5 of its moon orbiting and that was an amazing experience. I developed a passion towards Astronomy. I did a lot of reading about the subject. And somewhere along the way, from astronomical reading, I learned to express things through writing. I had alot of ideas for poems, novels and songs. I learned how to compose music from my piano lessons. Then I switched to the arts world. I was dead serious about it. I wrote drama scripts and directed teather. However, things change. I ended up working for a bank and later became a Statistics lecturer. Now a housewife struggling with Deutsch.

Throughout all these years, I have stared at the moon from I was a little girl and now a woman. There has been myriad changes throughout my life, but the moon stays the same. It amazes me how crazy we are here coping with change and the moon calms us down. How ironic it is for me to say that it makes you feel down to earth a little. What blows my mind is that from whichever part of the world we are, we share the same moon. Perhaps at that particular time that I am staring at the moon, you are staring at it too. Sometimes these taughts come to my mind. I am reminded of a conversation that took place when I was in my early 20s. It was during Friday prayers and my friend had said this, 'You know, maybe our jodoh tengah sembahyang jumaat at this very minute'. And I said, 'Hmm.. tak semestinya.. Kalau dia kat overseas ke sekarang?' At that moment, I had no idea why I said that. But I remember it vividly. I thought about this conversation an hour before my akad. It freaked me out a little.

We all share the same moon, the same sun. From wherever we are. It's not just facebook that keeps us connected. It's the universe.

New Label - Reminder

If you like to see your prayers answered during hard times, 

you must pray hard during easy times. 

– Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (as)